Say Good Night to the Nice Guy

I’ve been reading through one of my favorite books for the third time (I think…). With John Eldredge, I always find something new to clutch onto, something new for my heart to evaluate and mull over. This time I barely made to page 7 in Wild at Heart before I realized what was tugging at my soul this time. Eldredge has a knack for exploring the insides of our mind and soul and finding the most primitive and primal feelings or thoughts. A gift, I’d say.


Society at large can’t make up its mind about men. Having spent the last thirty years refining masculinity into something more sensitive, safe, manageable and, well, feminine, it now berates men for not being men. -John Eldredge


The problem with men, we are told, is that they don’t know how to keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But, if they try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming… a nice guy. That’s what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys. We don’t smoke, drink, or swear; that’s what makes us men. Now let me ask my male readers: In all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of becoming a Nice Guy? (Ladies, was the Prince of your dreams dashing… or merely nice?) -John Eldredge


I have become… the Nice Guy. Edredge has has hit this subject dead on. Why are most Christian men seen as Nice Guys? Why is there a stereotype of that? Is there? Do you agree? I think there is, and I’m sick of it. I can’t blame the stereotype though… because it feels true. I’m guilty.


This reminds my of the Emery song “What Makes a Man a Man,” let’s take a closer look.


Take a look and see for yourself what makes a man

a man, and I will step back to the life I left.

Maybe you won’t forget who I am.


Wake up in the middle of the night,

just don’t believe everything’s all right when these

thoughts are running around your head.

And it’s late, so you don’t really want to say goodbye,

so you just head down the stairs that lead you out.

The sound of silence is as loud as a gunshot.

“Forgive me” were the only words they read on the note you left.


Singing,oh… can’t find any way out.


I wish I could live where the sea meets the land.

The ocean and I would be the best of friends.

I’d make her my own. I would float in her waves.

She would sing me to sleep as she carries me away.

Won’t you carry me away?

Oh,please, carry me away.

Ocean, carry me away. You’re my better half.


Singing, oh… can’t find any way out.


(I don’t really want to sing anymore. There’s got to

be something I could live for,so just show me now.

Everyday is just another regret. It’s time for me to

give it a rest and it’s over now.)




Like Eldredge, the lyrics find the writer longing for the sea, or the wilderness. We’re meant to live an adventure and be outdoors. We’re not meant to sit behind a desk, be polite, and mind our manners.


Eldredge also says this:


It is the fear that keeps a man at home where things are neat and orderly and under his control.




We have not invited a man to know and live from his deep heart.


I, for one, agree.



  1. Gennavieve Rednour
    Posted April 25, 2009 at 1:42 PM | Permalink

    Nicely Written My Love!

  2. Posted May 23, 2009 at 5:54 PM | Permalink

    Loren, thanks so much man. Your words are just as encouraging to hear. I pray the same growth take place in us all my friend, it has been an amazing restoration. I’m glad we are together in this. Seek Jesus my friend.

  3. Mee Yai
    Posted May 28, 2009 at 3:08 AM | Permalink

    Rockin’ as always, Bro. Going to have to check this writer of yours out. Keep it Jesus. By the way, Deep Wasabi is back online. Hail Christ.

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